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Archive for August, 2011

Exactly one year ago I found myself in a sad place.  I was alone in Mexico City after a very trying and emotional day.  I decided to take myself out for dinner and while seated at the table I wrote myself the below letter.  Today after reading, I feel very proud of how far I have come in a year.  I highly recommend writing a note to self and sealing it for future reading.  It really shows you how much can change in one year (thankfully in my case – for the better).

Dear DL,

From where I stand today I can see that you are a good person with a great deal going for you – except you could be a lot happier if you adjusted a few debilatating ways of thiking:

1. You need more self respect – you need to establish principles of what you will accept and stick by them.  You let others control your emotions too much and they sometimes manipulate you because you appear weak, culpable and overly sensitive.

2.  You have to learn to count your blessings more than you do.  You have so much to be happy, thankful and grateful for, but you often get stuck on the negatives! Bad!

3.  You need goals – long and short term – you have gotten botter at this but don’t lose focus.

4.  You need stronger convictions.  You are too wishy-washy in your opinions or beliefs.  This is good because you are maliable, understanding and open-minded, but don’t let your lack of opinion get dominated by someone’s strong opinions;  just because they have one, doesn’t mean its right.

5.  Don’t get trapped in the pleasing other people or putting others ahead of yourself game again!  You are #1 and you do whats truly in your heart and what is best for you in your heart!

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So Nice

Someone to hold me tight, that would be very nice

Someone to love me right, that would be very nice

Someone to understand, each little dream with me

Someone to take my hand, to be a team with me

So nice, life would be so nice, if one day I’d find someone who would take my hand and Samba though life with me.

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Need

“… and I close my eyes, inhale, and feel a rush of heat and energy that takes my breath away.  It is the feeling of wanting something so much that it bordered on an actual need, and the power and urgency of this need overwhelms me.”

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“… and then, aside from everything else, and maybe more important than everything else, there was our chemistry.  The physical connection.  The mind-blowing, ridiculous sex which was the stuff of both poetry and porn… there was nothing that felt off-limits.  Nothing I wouldn’t do for him, to him, with him.  We kept saying that surely it couldn’t get any better.  But somehow it did again and again.”

– Emily Giffin, Love The One You’re With.

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“… a bizarre combination of detachment and interest, pride and scorn.  Its a matter of curiosity – and anyone who says they are utterly indifferent to what their significant exes are doing is, in my opinion, either lying, or lacking a certain amount of emotional depth.  I’m not saying it’s healthy to be past-obsessed, ferreting out details of every ex, but it’s simply human nature to have an occasional, fleeting interest in someone whom you once loved.”

– Emily Giffin

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